you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Randomize
