It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
