made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
