hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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