My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
