? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.