just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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