I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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