My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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