i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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