everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
It's never too late to be topless.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
