for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize
