So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
