we're chasing vodka with high fives
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
