new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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