Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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