I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
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