So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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