I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
