Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
organizing the empties. That sober.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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