Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
