Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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