I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
The police scanner is talking about you again....
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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