I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize