He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
