So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
We had sex on a dog bed..
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
