my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
