it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
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