I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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