you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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