But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
