very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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