I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
