I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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