So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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