sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
