Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
mondays should just be called national damage control day
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Randomize
