How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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