Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
