I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
