Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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