WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
