I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
