I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
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They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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