I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
