Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
