We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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