Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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