Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
now i know why i became what i already was.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
