First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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