u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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