Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
