I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
