Soap is not a condiment
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize