I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Sext me about skeletons
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
