I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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