I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
