I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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