You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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