i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
