I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
