It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
