Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize