Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
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