thus making me awesome and them whores
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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