i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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